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Dirty Fake Hippie Snob

There's a girl I like but I don't fit in
It's a different situation than I've been in
She's not a foot soldier of the establishment blob
I'm in love with a dirty fake hippie snob

She won't eat but claims she's not anorexic
She dropped out of school cause she says she's dyslexic
She's way cooler than me but I think it's absurd of
Her to only like bands that no one's ever heard of

I met all her friends and they weren't that friendly
The guys were all stoned and the girls were bi-trendy
They live in a warehouse without heat or water
With a CEO's son and a Senator's daughter.

The place was condemned; they were getting kicked out
They had a last blast with PBR and Vegan trout
They were giving away for free all their things
So I grabbed somebody's paperback of "Silent Spring"

I follow her to opening bands and open mics
For the coffee-shop folkie music that she likes
That sixteen year-old white girl can sure sing the blues
I really believe she killed her lover down on the bayou

We saw a MySpace band in a microbar
They used a theremin, a zither and an old keytar
To play a post-funk cover of "Crimson and Clover"
But they released a record so now they're over

I had them needle over every inch of my skin
And my face is covered with hooks and pins 
My pierced lip turned green and started to ooze
And I think I'm allergic to the ink in tattoos

I had to shave my head; I had to wreck my shoes
I had to learn the names of fifty microbrews 
I threw out all my Modest Mouse, White Stripes and the Shins
And I vote for people that can't possibly win

I bought a bike and I lost my job
Now I'm a 24-hour fake dirty hippie snob 
I know how all your scorn is well deserved
But if you don't look the part then you never get served

When I came here I heard individuals ruled
And exclusionary cliques were establishment tools
I guess I thought I'd just walk in and belong
But it seems like my basic conception was wrong

I thought it was about love and understanding
Not silly haircuts, tattoos, lip-gloss and glad-handing
I thought it was about a great world we haven't made yet
Not opening up a fucking Cracker Jack box and finding a coupon for your Coors-sponsored government-issued sub-culture alternative-personality set.